Poop Antics

It has been four years since we have had an infant, and I had forgotten just how spectacular baby poop is. It defies the laws of physics, I swear. Baby intestines should be studied for their extra dimensional properties, because the volume that exits the system could not possibly be contained within the system. Add to this the usual Sprayberry trending towards the absurd, and it's comical. Today I picked up Dalton and decided to change him before feeding. I carefully checked the diaper on the change table and sure enough, massive poo. Totally fine, clean the kid, check him, we are good to go. Then I look in the mirror behind the change table and notice poop n my shirt. Huh. Change my shirt, pick up the baby and go to sit down in the baby throne to feed him. As I am about to put him on my lap I notice poop all over my pants. Huh. A I stand up to go back to the change table I notice poop on the floor next to his chair. Apparently when I originally picked him up, I cradled his bottom in the exact right fashion to jettison an arc of poop outside the diaper without getting any on him, just all over me and the floor. Again, a marvel of physics. Hence my firm belief that cloth diaper laundry is just noise, because the baby itself generates about two loads per day. At least ours do (big surprise)