Evil Genius in the Making

An unexpected excerpt from my bedtime conversation with Cayden:

"I mean, I love flamethrowers, but I am not planning on buying one anytime soon"

How…. comforting.

Learning Anatomy

D: (touching Ty's forehead) What is that?
T: Its my forehead
D: (strokes Ty's eyelid) What is that?
T: My eyelid
D: (reaches for Ty's eye again) Can I touch the colored part?
T: NO!

The Age of Literalism

J: Dalton, can I have a kiss?

D: No. I give Daddy a kiss! (runs over to Tyson and kisses him on the cheek)

J: Yeah! Daddy got kisses!

D: No Mommy. ONE kiss.

Power and Pesto

I came home a bit late from work the other night, and Tyson and Dalton were already in the kitchen working on making pizza for dinner. Dalton was standing on a stool with his hands wrapped around a container of pesto (we shun the traditional tomato-sauce pizza… too wet for home cooking).

D: I can open it?
T: Not yet honey.
D: I can open it?
T:Not yet honey, I need to finish spreading the dough first.
D: I can open it?
T: Sweetheart, count to five.
D: FIVE!
T: Fair enough, I didn't say count from 1 to 5. But I am going to take the pesto away now and give it back to you when it is time to open it.
D: And I will scoop it out because I am the teacher of eating!*

Dalton has been claiming teacher status often of late - and usually in a situation where he would prefer to have a little more power. I find it fascinating that he has not claimed the role of 'mommy' or 'daddy' but is completely comfortable telling me, "No, you don't sing it. I am the teacher, I sing the songs". It reminds me that two year olds are living a daily Catch-22: to learn about the world you have to interact with it, but as a two year old you have boundaries that your grown-ups are often not comfortable with, and so you are often told to stop or disengage. It is a useful reminder to create environments where I can say yes instead of no, and to have understanding for how overwhelming his emotional world can be (the good and the bad). Also, it is a good idea to keep pesto hidden if you want to cook with it (he ate about a quarter cup of straight pesto with a spoon after the pizzas were made).

Adventures of a Drama Queen: Episode # 129876

Setting the scene: Cayden and Dalton are running through the living room at top speed, as though their hair was on fire. Cayden stubs his toe.

C: AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHH! (rolls on floor producing blood curdling screams. BLOOD. CURDLING.)

T: Sweetheart, come here (gently prods injured toes)

T: Can you move it?

C: Yes

T: Bend it for me

C: It bends fine (in a completely calm and normal tone of voice)

T: I don't think it is broken.

C: Okay

J: You know son, the intensity of your screaming was completely out of proportion with the severity of your injury

T: Yeah honey, you were screaming like you had just broken an arm

C:……Yeah….. I'm okay with that.

This is your brain exposed to an older brother

Two choice conversations I had with my youngest today that I NEVER had with my oldest at age two. TWO! Cayden waited until 4 to turn into an obnoxious teenager.

J: What did you do at school today?

D: No! I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about my day!

J: (delivering a requested orange truck and finding D out of bed playing with a different truck in the middle of the floor) D honey, you are supposed to be in bed.

D: Hey! I had to get a truck!

J: I can see that, but play with it in bed please.

D: Hey Mommy! I HAD to get a TRUCK!