[jd] 23 July 2007
I realize there have been very few posts lately. Two weeks ago I developed some really gnarly post-partum anxiety. I shot awake just as I was drifting to sleep with a true, emotional understanding that I was going to die. This sparked an fantastic panic attack which kept me up half of the night. The panic attacks continued, slowly decreasing in intensity for about five days. Then it hit again with renewed vigor, making me too sick to eat for a couple days last week. I am a very hormonal creature, and any stressor (anxiety, too much booze, every flu, dehydration, etc.) sets off the same physiological reaction. I get a numbness in my chest, tingling in my arms, severe nausea, etc. These attacks haven't been my garden variety anxiety, which Ty and I are adept at handling. They have been sheer, unreasoning terror. Understanding they are hormonal helps, and our discussions / attempts to deal with them have led to some pretty entertaining asides.
Last week, Ty was researching tinting the windows on our station wagon to prevent the whole thing from heating up to 130F when parked for ten minutes at the store. He came home and told me everything that he found out, then our conversation drifted to what we are going to do about my recent 'problem'. We were having a very earnest and productive discusion about options when he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I am not completely againt tinting, I just want us to exhaust the other options first". When I burst out laughing, he looked a little offended until I told him he had said 'tinting' not 'drugs'.
In my research to look at dietary aides for anxiety, a couple sites recommended B vitatins. I was intrigued by this, because in the process of getting diagnosed with gastroparesis (the stomach disorder I had from 2003-2005), the first time I went to see the gasteroenterologist he had me tested for a vitamin B defficiency after hearing the above symptoms. I have been very lax about taking my vitamins since I had Cayden, so I went out and purchased a B100 supplement. Two days later I was pumping at work and this happened:
Now I always get yellow pee within 12 hours of taking a B vitamin (although it took almost 2 days this time), but this was completely unexpected. I called the lactation consultant at our delivery hospital. She told me to throw out the milk and stop taking the supplements (I am not supposed to imbibe more than 100% B6, and that supplement had 5000%), but gave me the number of a post-partum depression support group. The people that run it are really sweet and it is totally free. I will be going Wednesday night at six, and have high hopes that it will help. Other than that I am eating lots of eggs (the lactation consultant said DHA helps), sleeping a bunch, and leaning on my incredibly supportive hubby. So, sorry about the silence and thanks for listening.
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