Child Update

You know you've taught your 4 yr old well when you walk by his room and hear him pass gas loudly and then exclaim, "Barking spiders. They follow us around. And they make so many noises."

The Wonders of Technology

Since our lives have been a *little* more hectic of late, I have supplemented my smartphone with an amazing bit of technology that helps me keep track of time and keeps me from being late. I realized I needed it when the second day after Ty's knee destruction, I was late twice in one day to pick him up. Impressive, eh? Just what is this wonder object: a watch. I haven't worm one since before grad school, but let me extol its virtues: when you wear a watch you know what time it is! It is water resistant, so I no longer accidentally take a 20 minute shower. It is not socially awkward to glance down, so I can end conversations and meetings in a timely manner, and thus arrive at my next destination on time! The best part? The watch Ty found for me is completely mechanical, it requires neither winding, nor batteries. Its the little things in life... In other news, Ty's MCL is doing well and he got the okay from the doctor to drive and walk! Two weeks of "normal" activity before he goes under the knife and is knocked back to square one.

Sprayberry Reality TV Update: Return of the Bionic Man

As we return to the never ending comedy of our lives, the scene opens on a hungry pregnant woman answering a phone call from her husband (who was supposed to buy her ice cream after dojo):

phone rings
J; The answer is chocolate
T: The answer is I blew out my other knee.
J: Are you serious?
T: Why would I joke about that?

Sadly it is true, within one week of being told that I am not allowed to lift anything heavier than 15-20 lbs, Tyson shredded his right knee. This has led to an increasing opportunity for the absurd yet comical in our house. For example, I have a strict policy of never feeding our cats. You know why? Feed them once and they harass you for at least a month. Then, I cease to like my cats and begin viewing them as likely targets for a well-timed kick (so far I have resisted). The only thing that could possibly induce me to feed them is their impending starvation. Given Ty's inability to, oh, walk, starvation was actually on the table and I caved. I fed them. Of course, due to my inexperience, I didn't push the futon far enough over their bowl and came home the next day after going to an ultrasound, running Tyson home, driving to work to teach a lab, sprinting out of lab to pick up Cayden, loading Tyson in the car to get to the doctor, waiting at the doctor, and getting take out for dinner to a lovely pile of dog vomit on the living room floor because Roland had eaten all the cat food. Freaking cats. Other entertaining out-takes include 3 year olds and poop (ask in person, it's hysterical), and a leak in my lab right over all the computers. Happily we are all keeping a sense of humor here because we live with Tyson. My personal favorite of his many and varied explanations of what happened to his leg is: "I was saving orphans from a fire [holds up hand to stop listener from interrupting], but I don't like the word hero".

Two weeks post injury we have a better idea what is going on. He partially tore his MCL, completely tore his ACL and bruised the bones on the exterior side of the knee joint. For those of you around in 2003, this is a virtually identical injury to the left knee. And no, he wasn't doing anything dumb, it was an expression of the stochastic nature of our universe. So, 6 weeks in a walking brace, then surgery, then 6 weeks of rehab. In another 11 weeks or so we will see him without a gigantic brace on his leg again. Between the 19 pillows it takes for me to sleep comfortably, Tyson's brace, and Tyson's extra pillows our bed is starting to resemble a complex three dimensional spatial packing problem more than a relaxing place to snooze. Cayden asked to snuggle the other morning and I stared at him as though he had two heads. Where do you imagine you are going to fit child?

As always, our friends and family have been amazing: helping move things, entertaining Cayden, cleaning, and swapping cars with us (thanks Dad!). We continue to be, for some unknown reason, a phenomenally blessed family. Thank you all!

BTW: at that ultrasound we discovered we are having another little boy. While I fear the chaos, I am so excited about brothers. Cayden has given his little brother the in utero nickname of Dune Buggy and now regularly talks to and kisses my belly. It is painfully sweet.

From Zero to Whining in One Second Flat

If I ever write a memoir of the past year (otherwise known as the year of THREE), that will be the title.

40 lb Bag

The following is from a preggy website that JD frequents. It's nice, but it's not really how we roll.

Q2.

I've been pretty sedentary, but I'd like to start getting some exercise. Where should I start?

First, check in with your caregiver about your plans. Then, you'll need to start with gentle exercise for short periods of time (about 15 minutes a few times per week) and gradually work up to a longer and more intense daily routine (about half an hour a day). What to do: Walking is the easiest way to get started on a regular fitness program, and it doesn't require any special equipment other than a good pair of walking shoes! Many women enjoy swimming during pregnancy because the water helps hold up their extra weight. Others swear by prenatal yoga to stretch and strengthen their body as well as relieve aches and pains.

Here at Chez Spray it goes something more like this...

Q2.

I've been pretty sedentary, but I'd like to start getting some exercise. Where should I start?

First, check in with your Sensei to see if he has any 40lb dummy bags to attack. If he doesn't then consider buying one. Once you get your hands on a 40lb bag then begin by insulting it as if it were an unwanted sexual advance. Try yelling such phrases as "Go home!" or "I swear to God if you don't leave me alone I will put you in the hospital." Once you have verbally abused the bag for a couple of minutes you're ready to begin. Your baby likes to be used as weapon, it helps develop the special mother-child bond that is so natural. Start by throwing yourself belly first onto the bag. After you have subdued the bag using your fetus, feel free to start throwing punches, kicks, elbows, pelvic thrusts, and even the occasional headbutt (or Liverpool Kiss as they are known in the UK). A couple of sessions a day should be sufficient to tire you out. Make sure you follow your workout with a couple of raw eggs and a Creatine shake to replace depleted minerals. Others swear by prenatal yoga to stretch and strengthen their body as well as relieve aches and pains.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

"Momma, can I see your big belly? Now your big butt. Ha! That's funny."

I may not look pregnant to most of the world, but my son has definitely noticed.

Pregnant Brain

Ridiculous things I have done in the last two weeks:

• Lost my glasses
• Three days later lost my 6 year old back up glasses (which have thankfully been found)
• Brought down a heating pad, turned on the microwave for TWO MINUTES ON HIGH, opened it up and spend a solid 10 seconds trying to figure out how the microwave made the heating pad disappear before turning around to see it on the table.
• Barely stopped myself from putting Cayden's dinner plate in the trash can instead of the freezer to cool off
• Realized I was putting the heating pad in the fridge instead of the microwave
• Asked a student yesterday, "You have a grad school interview already? Aren't those usually in January?"

I think I need to hide in a closet for the next six months.

Immunization Season

When I was knocked up with Cayden, I didn't get a flu shot because I've never gotten a flu shot and once every 5 years or do I get the flu. It just never seemed like a big deal to me. These days medical professionals seem to take it much more seriously, and under strong urging of my doctor and his nurses I hauled my butt to the local pharmacy to get the shot. In theory both I and the fetus are now protected, huzzah. Well, knowing that Ty already got a shot at school, I was feeling like we should probably get Cayden taken care of too. I called the pediatrician on Wednesday, then asked Ty to run Cayden over there after school. I had to stay at work s relegate the doctors visit to Ty.

So, Tyson picks Cayden up at school and tells him that they are going to go get a shot that will keep him from getting sick. Cayden is down with this idea, and gets pretty excited. For the twenty minutes they were in the waiting room, Cayden kept asking, "When are they going to call my name?" and "Is it time for my shot?". When they finally call Cayden's name, he cheerfully goes with Daddy into an exam room. A nurse promptly pokes him in the arm and gives him the shot, resulting in an indignant cry of "OOWWW!". But, he apparently took it well and was happy about the tweety bird bandaid. The ordeal over with, Ty and Cayden troop back down to the car and head home. After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, Cayden pipes up from the back, "Daddy.... the doctor wasn't as much fun as I thought is was going to be".

Dinner Time Conversation

C: Mommy, is shazbat a bad word?
J: No, it's a word I use so that I don't teach you bad words.
C: Like, stupid is a bad word and you don't want to teach me stupid.
J: That's right. Stupid is a bad word.
C: Yeah, we don't call me stupid.
J: Yes sweetheart.
C: Because when I pinched Alice (annonomyzed), she called me "STUPID BOY"
J: smothers laughter in napkin
T: That is your son.
J: Well sweetheart, she didn't use nice words, but she may have called you stupid because you pinched her.
C: Yeah. Stupid is not a nice thing to call somebody. Daddy, did you hear what happened when Alice called me STUPID BOY?
T: What's that honey?
C: I told my teacher, "Alice called me stupid"
J: What did your teacher do?
C: Um, she put me in time out.
J: Again, probably because you pinched Alice.
C: Yeah
J: Yeah

Sledding

With our "blizzard" of 6 inches of snow today school was canceled and we went sledding.  Cayden has a new buddy whose family just moved up here from Tennessee and the sledding hill was directly behind his house.  Very convenient. 

And with another stroke of luck the mailman arrived a scant 30 minutes before we left to deliver the snowpants that Vavo had sent down.  Between the super nice, barely used snowpants and the snow boots from his cousins in Maine my kid was warm and dry the whole afternoon.  Which led to a very enjoyable time out on the slopes.

Arsenal vs. Chelsea

After two years running at my parent's place for the holidays, we headed north for the 2010 festivities. We had a luxurious and relaxing three days in Rhode Island, where Cayden had his first CHRISTMAS. I mean, it was actually his 4th, but this year was the first year we bought him new toys. After months of watching him pretend matchbox cars, dice and random oblong objects were characters from Pixar's Cars movie, we caved and got him a selection of his favorites. Christmas bonus for the parents: child was completely occupied all day long. We also had the novel experience of walking around the streets of Newport and seeing them deserted. We were one of maybe 10 people that thought strolling along the docks was a good way to spend Christmas day, but the weather was perfectly clear, sunny crisp and beautiful. Winter beach walks are one of the things I miss most about living in RI.

Just before the "blizzard" hit, we bailed for Boston to start a new family tradition. Tyson is a rabid Chelsea fan, while Z&K are rabid Arsenal fans. I don't actually care, but am a huge fan of traveling to watch the games on each others home turf. This time Chelsea was playing at Arsenal, so we holed up in Boston, got a sitter and headed to a great soccer bar in Cambridge. Tyson did not end the day happy, but otherwise a good time was had by all. Cayden had an exciting afternoon as well. After telling his sitter that he wanted to go on a train and sledding, she bundled him up, inflated the sled, and packed onto the train to Boston Commons. Apparently, as soon as they got there he fell in a puddle and started crying to go home. So she packed him right back on the train back to Jamaica Plain. Maybe the next sledding trip will be more successful.

Our final day in town was my birthday, which we celebrated by looking at dead animals. Taking Cayden through Harvard's Natural History Museum was a thoroughly entertaining way to spend the day. I topped off the celebration by coercing everybody into ordering amazing Indian takeout, which is possibly worth moving to Boston for. All in all, a good holiday break. We wish you all belated holiday cheer and a Happy New Year!

Zak and Kendra brave the blizzard

Dracolichs love sprinkles

Tyson narrowly escaped with his life

Everyone was sad and bitter about the Indian feast

The Knife

Ok. 3 days of exhaustive research on folding tactical knives, Every-Day-Carry knives, the differences between 440A, S30V and 154CM steel, tip up versus tip down carry, the pros and cons of liner locks, imported chinese knives, fully automatic knives, semi-automatic knives, hollow grind versus FFG (full flat grind), and (on a somewhat related tangent) how to construct a figure-4 animal snare from sticks and rocks. At the end of it all i have come to the conclusion that my next carry knife (I've had mine for over 8 years now) will be a Spyderco Manix 2 Combination (1/2 serrated) Blade.

I'll keep everyone updated as to how I like it.

Milestones

Cayden's interest in reading and words is so intense right now that he has developed a charming habit of correcting my pronunciation when reading his favorite truck book (from Grandpa Spray, of course) -  "Momma, you didn't say the S" -  "Don't forget the B Momma" - I can't decide if this is charming or annoying. Given where his genes are coming from, it's probably both.

Tgivng

This year for T-giving we stayed in A-town. We had dinner at our friend's house, watched football, and then migrated to another friend's house for dessert and games. It was an extremely low-key affair that set a new standard for companionship and holiday butter consumption.

I wish I could take credit for the following photos but our friend Marco does it for a living so we "let" him record our lives.

Banana Muffins

The training of the kid is really starting to pay dividends. Last Sunday when Jordanna asked him if he wanted to help make pancakes for breakfast he voiced his opinion that they make pancakes every Sunday and they should instead make muffins. So when I came downstairs around 7:30 to make some coffee I found freshly made banana muffins waiting for me. It was wonderful. So wonderful in fact that when I found out it was his idea I very sincerely thanked him for making me such tasty muffins. True to his mimic tendencies he waited a moment for gravity, looked me straight in the eyes and told me 'It was my pleasure Daddy."

Mr. Precocious

The following account is a paraphrased story from Cayden's teacher at school: Cayden had a bit of a run in with his friend Bob (name changed for privacy reasons) today. Billy tried to take the truck that Cayden was playing with, and when they both started getting upset we intervened and asked Billy to let Cayden play with the truck for a few minutes before asking him to share it. That resolved the situation, because they are used to these sharing rules. About an hour later, Cayden came up to me and said, "I just wanted to say thank you for helping out with the Billy situation earlier".

The constant NPR in the house and heavy emphasis on emotional communication seems to have some bizarre effects on this kid.

Wedding Extrodinaire

A couple of weekends ago we attended the wedding of our good friends Steve and Sarah. A wonderful time was had by all. And we have the pictures to prove it.

Misunderstanding

My son loves Halloween. He remembers it from last year, which blows me away because he was only 2 1/2 years old. He sat outside with Tyson and handed out candy last year, obnoxiously telling the thirteen year old girls, "Now you say thank you. Say thank you!", and at the end of the night we rewarded his diligent manner instructing with a single piece of candy. His eyes grew wide and stared at us with a look on his face that clearly said, "You mean to say we have been GIVING THIS AWAY!". Round about June he came out of our back room babbling about kids looking silly and giving away and I stared in bewilderment at him until I realized that he was describing halloween to me and asking when that would happen again. I told him October and he wandered off. In August he started talking about halloween again, and by September I realized that we as a family would now be celebrating this holiday. How could I deny him? He is so excited. He decided that he wants to be a humpback whale, so after much discussion and thought I headed to the thrift store and got myself a blue denim curtain to turn into a whale (I am banking on the fact that three year olds can't tell whether or not they look ridiculous). Last night I started the costume and had him come into the back room and lay down on the curtain so I could trace out the whale pattern. He stood up and asked me about it, so I pointed out the head, flippers and tail to me. He pause, looking very thoughtful, then said, "But Mommy, I thought I was going to be a real humpback whale that could swim!".

Trust

Trust is a beautiful thing. As a parent I work hard to build a solid bond with my son so that he trusts me. The flip side of that coin however is the responsibility that goes along with a relationship built on trust. I'll give you an example.

Yesterday the whole family was out in the backyard working and playing. Jordanna and I were working and Cayden was playing. At one point I found a hook and part of a clothesline that were no longer in use. So I called Cayden over and tied it to the back belt-loop of his pants so he would have a tail. He really likes having a tail and the clothesline was a nice long 4 foot section of sturdy rope.

A couple of hours later he and I were standing under a tree and it occured to me that I could tie the end of his tail to a low hanging branch. So I did. As I was tying it he asked me why I was tying him to a tree. So without thinking I said "Because it's fun. Ready, now run!" Without a thought he grinnned widely and sprinted off. He made it about 4 good steps before the line went taut, yanked his hips out from underneath him and with a look of absolute shock he swung down and crashed into the ground flat on his face and belly. Much crying ensued. Not so much from pain but more from surprise. Jordanna witnessed the entire thing and was collapsed in a small ball trying not to laugh at my son's pain.

The lesson learned at Chez-Spray yesterday is twofold. Firstly, my son loves and trusts me enough that if I smile and tell him something is fun he will unquestioningly do it. That is indeed a very special thing. Secondly, tails are dangerous.

Tonight the Zombies Win