Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Who are they kidding?

[jordanna]

My fear of epidurals is an order of magnitude greater than my fear of labor pain. I have a history of a bad back and want nothing to do with the potential fetal or maternal complications. That said, I am still a bit nervous at the prospect of a natural childbirth. I decided to do some good old fashioned internet research on the topic. In an article on Discovery's Health site, entitled 'Natural relief for labor pain', they suggest I ask for a hug, and some emotional support. I have no delusions about how much easier this process will because of how amazingly supportive Tyson is, but I was hoping for some more in depth advice.

'Honey, you are the cutest beached whale I've ever seen. Go get 'em'
'Dude, it totally doesn't hurt anymore'

Monday, November 27, 2006

That Definitely Wasn't Gas

[jordanna]

One week later, I am convinced that I am feeling the baby move. I imagined that the first time I felt our baby, it would be a magical experience that moved me to tears. All the books say that first movements will feel like 'gentle butterflies'. I don't think those people have been pregnant. Or, we have a less than graceful baby. Granted, the movements are not particularly strong (yet), but there is nothing delicate about them. It is unbelievably strange to feel motion inside your body that is in no way, shape, or form controlled by you. Remember in Aliens, when the alien comes out of somebody for the first time? Remember the look on that guy's face? I understand that look better now. Incredible wierdness aside, it is pretty damn cool to feel the sorlet kicking around in there.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Incredible Edible Fetus

[jordanna]

For those of who who find the whole comparison of fetuses to food thing not disturbing, I thought you would like to know I am gestating a small zucchini. Although, couldn't they have picked a more reliably sized vegetable? We hit the official halfway mark on Thursday, although according to our last ultrasound I will probably deliver late.

Monday, November 20, 2006

He can kind of count to seven

[jordanna]

Without a doubt, the member of our family that had suffered the most from our move and plunge into remodelling a house is Roland. We no longer have huge wooded dog parks at our disposal, nor do we have time to trek into the mountains on the weekend. In an effort to make up for it we have started taking him to 'Sunday Funday', which is at the local humane society. They open their play yards to non-aggressive dogs with vaccination records, and provide coffee and donuts to the owners who can watch their canine kids turn into drooling idiots. Roland thinks this is great fun. I mean the dogs are okay, but that place is filled with like forty people who will pet him! Constantly! So this Saturday I roll out of bed, walk out into the hall and am confronted with 110 pounds of vibrating, tail wagging puppy. For those of you who know Roland, you will recognize that voluntary movement without promise of food reward is rare. I tried to walk by him, and he started hopping and howling. Mom, mom it's a weekend! Yes Roland, but it is Saturday. No fun for you. He dejectedly slumped back off to bed, and we go tno reaction out of him the next morning. We trundled him off to the fun place anyway, and he wore himself out so much that when we dragged him through home depot later he laid down everytime we stopped for more than a minute to look at stuff. Ty took some pictures, which he will hopefully post over T-day weekend. Who doesn't want pictures of our cute dog slobering on unsuspecting dogs and people?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Um, yeah

[jordanna]

It is completely illegal to name the color of maternity clothing "chastity pink". Do I look chaste to you?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

5 Yard Penalty

[jordanna]

I have been known to make up a word or two in my time (it's an inherited trait received from my father), but Office Depot deserves a penalty for the use of "Janitation Depot". Janitation? The top 5 suggestions the merriam-webster dicitonary site spits out when you enter janitation are: 1. gene mutation, 2. giant schnauzer, 3. geminating, 4. genitalia, 5. genitally.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Do they want me to eat it?

[jordanna]

Both my pregnancy book and the website that sends me weekly updates of baby development consistently list the size of the fetus (this week it is 5 1/2 inches) and then compare it to a food item. Last week I was gestating a large onion. This week it is a sweet potato. Are these people dreaming of thanksgiving? Or do they think I can't operate a ruler?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Narcolepsy: it'll get you every time

[jordanna]


I am sitting here, in mid-cup of tea, trying to read an article. I realized I was falling asleep and started rubbing my bleary eyes. Apparently I fell asleep while doing this, because the next thing I felt was a sharp pain as I let my head go and poked myself in the eye with my right thumb. That's right ladies and gentlemen, these genes are staying in the pool.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Unexpectedly

[jordanna]

Those of you who are familar with my weight struggles since 2002, when I developed gasteroparesis, will find this amusing: I am topping the weight gain charts for pregnancy. After dropping to 112 before our wedding, it took me 3 1/2 years to consistently weigh in at 125 or slightly above (prior to starting martial arts I was 128, after 6 months of training I was 136 and my clothes fit the same). So far in the sorlet saga we have:
7 weeks - 125
12 weeks - 130
17 weeks - 136.5
One site I read recommended a weight gain of 11-14 pounds by the end of the 2nd trimester. I am at 11.5, and the second trimester isn't over for another 8 weeks! Tyson is doing a jig of joy, as his greatest fear of breeding with me was that I would gain a total of 10 pounds and squeeze out a sickly 3 pound baby.

Friday, October 27, 2006

By Special Request

[jordanna]

Tyson wanted me to record for posterity what I ate yesterday:
1 big bowl of cereal
2 eggs, over-easy
1 asian pear
5 whole wheat saltines
(it is now 10 am)
1 bowl of white beans, sausage and kale
another 5-10 saltines
1 jona-gold apple (so much better than the romes i got last week)
another 5-10 saltines
1/2 pint of Dreyers rocky road ice cream
handful of grapes
2 morning star fake chicken patty sandwiches
(with lettuce and tomato on a whole wheat bun)
handful of potato chips

ummmm, the baby's growing?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Bomb Scare

[ty]

Like most people I have a routine for the first hour of work every morning. First I refill my coffee mug from my thermos, then I go make copies for my classes for the day, then I go up to the office to check my mailbox and collect my attendance folder. Today, for whatever reason, I went up to the office first fully intending to fill my coffee mug upon my return. It was not to be. As I got up to the main office I noticed a police car go flying by in the bus turnaround with all its lights on. When I was in high school that meant that someone had gotten hurt and the ambulance was on its way. Nowadays the sight of a lit up squad car on campus means you should get indoors fast and try to keep low and behind cover as you go. Not good.

Sure enough, a bomb threat had been called in to the local police and the students and staff had all been evacuated out to the athletic fields. I headed out to the fields and spent the next 2 hours trying to discourage students from escaping to the parking lot. They brought in 5 K-9 units, sniffed the entire school top to bottom, and around 10:00 declared school back in business.

Now, a brief word on high school students need be said here. My students will come to class and complain that they are SOOO tired that they really absolutely need a 30 min nap before they can be expected to do anything productive in class. But given the opportunity to doze in the beautiful AZ autumn sun for 2 hours instead of being in class all they do is wander around and complain that they should be allowed to walk the 7 miles home. Damn kids.

So all is well and I've spent the last hour pestering Zak on IM as he tries valiantly to make multicolored scarves. He's a strange man.
The Cat is Out of the Bag

[jordanna]

In a classic maneuver, Zak Pelo(Joa)quin outed Steve and Paula yesterday afternoon. Paula quickly confirmed the rumours that she and Steve are indeed engaged. I talked to her yesterday morning and didn't want to post anything on the blog until they made the news public (but yes, this is what #3 from yesterday's post was about). For those of you who don't know, Paula and Steve are close friends of ours. I met Tyson and Paula together at a sea turtle conference, and we were fairly inseparable after that. Paula also served as our minister. Zak used to work with Steve and introduced him to us. Steve is a marveluous guy, who exhibits the rare and wonderful combination of being very jolly and having a sick sense of humour. They are perfect for each other and I couldn't be happier. I think we should all raise a glass, and toast the fabulous event that brought them together: consumption of the Tim Henry Margarita, hand crafted by Tim Henry himself.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

October 24th, Not Just the Day Afer Mole Day
[jordanna]

Today has been a FANTASTIC day for three reasons:

1. I do not have a headache. I developed a sinus headache Sunday afternoon in Ikea (I know, I was asking for it), and within hours I was useless. I woke up Monday with the same headache, and tried to go to work where it progressively got worse. I left after several hours and went on a mission to find a Neti Pot, which I located at walgreens (who would have thunk it). The finer points of using a Neti Pot can be found here: http://www.jalanetipot.com/how.html
I did not come up with this lunatic idea on my own, Kendra swears by it. One day and four sinus irrigations later, so do I.

2. I found out that my behavior paper was accepted! For scientist folks, this is a very exciting event. For me it is a particularly exciting event. This is the second paper I have submitted. The first has been going through submission and review for over two years, and the process has been so intense I have considered quiting research. The second manuscript, however, sailed through with very little contention and was officially accepted for publication today. Huzzah!

3. I got wonderful, exciting, fantastic news about people I love and I CAN'T SHARE IT YET!!! I will expound on my joys about this news at a later date.

p.s. Mole Day, contrary to popular belief, is not a holiday to celebrate lawn rodents. Naturally, it is a holiday to commemorate Avogadro's Number (6.02 x 10^23).

Thursday, October 19, 2006

When New Appliances Go Wrong

[jordanna]

Shortly before our move, our beloved bread machine started to make creaking and groaning noises akin to a haunted house in a low budget horror flick. We decided to leave it behind and invest in a good Cuisinart convection bread maker. My first experiment with the delay timer went less than smoothly. Turns out that the bread pan can *look* like it is snapped in, but really be floating on top of the gear that causes the paddle to actually spin and knead the bread. We woke up two days ago to the fragrant smell of fresh herb bread, and found this:



Friday, October 13, 2006

Addendum to Ty's Yoga Tirade

[jordanna]

I learned two things at yoga last night:

1. I can no longer lay on my stomach. The 30 seconds I spent trying resulted in 15 straight minutes of intestinal and uterine cramping. Given that my belly is the same size it was 5 weeks ago, I was a bit surprised. Apparently the uterus:bloating ratio is increasing.

2. We should head to the BACK of the room. Yoga +Pregnant Lady = Lots and Lots of Gas (this is one of those pregnancy symptoms I had heard of and scoffed at, assuming it couldn't be that bad. As I long time sufferer of IBS, I can confirm that no matter how prepared you feel, it is that bad.)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Yoga For Dummies

[ty]

Tonight JD and I went to our first pre-natal yoga class. Technically it's just a beginner Hatha yoga class, but we figure any yoga is good yoga. It's located "downtown" in a really nice space with light brown flooring, many many fans, and a kind of shrine that the yoga lady sits in front of while she tortures you. So we got there 10 minutes early to fill out a liability waiver and list medical history. After 5 hard years of martial arts I've given up listing my ailments and simply write "Wide variety of bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, and ego damage. Nothing debilitating."

Anyway, we get our complementary yoga mats and navaho wool blankets and stake out some territory on the edge of the space. I have NO idea how to warm up for yoga so I stick with what I know and try out a few jump spin kicks. Not a popular option. After a few minutes Yoga Lady asks us to find a comfortable sitting position and concentrate on our breathing. I comply and sit indian style and begin to take deep breaths. Immediately my leg cramps. Crap. This is not going to go well for me.

Over the next hour we progress from sitting, to standing, to kneeling, to laying down, to rolling over, etc etc. Some of the positions were absolutely excrutiating and I distinctly remember one particular position called the twist. Begin by laying down. Nice. Now, while staring at the ceiling and wondering if anyone has noticed that you're chewing gum lift and extend your left leg. Excellent. Cross your right leg on top of your left leg as if you were sitting down and crossing your legs. Good. Now, if you can, wrap your right foot under your left calf as if it had no bones in it that would prevent such a thing. Now gently lower your leg to the ground and touch your foot to the floor. At this point, I was so lost I looked over at Yoga Lady to see which foot was supposed to be approaching the ground and Bride of Gumby that she was I COULDN'T TELL by simply observing. Her legs were all twisted up like a licorice stick. So I gave up and concentrated on breathing again.

After 55 minutes of adventurous pain she released us from our most recent contortion and gave a command that sounded for all the world like "Ok people, Shabazz Time." All the women around us (the class was 95% female) lay down on their backs and pulled their blankets around them as Yoga Lady went around and turned off the lights. Nap time! Sweet! For the next ?10? minutes we relaxed and practiced meditating. Not a bad deal.

So that was it. To be honest I enjoyed it quite a bit. Stretching has always been my personal athletic demon and having someone walk me through the painful painful process is really the only way it gets done. It's kind of funny to hear the Yoga Lady saying "Now, if any of this hurts just relax and find what your body feels is comfortable" while I'm over in the corner shaking, swearing a blue streak to myself, and pushing just a little harder to get the most out of it. We agreed that we should be going a couple of times a week to keep JD healthy and me entertained.

Oh yeah, and we finished tiling the bathroom today. Pics to follow.

Monday, October 09, 2006

It's An Alien!!

[tyson]

This morning we went to the perinatal wing of St. Joe's hospital for our Nuchal Transparency scan. For those of you who aren't up on your Prenatal Testing Technology its basically a sonogram with the specific purpose of looking at the thickening of the kid's neck folds. In theory you can combine information gleaned from the test with some blood work and end up with good information on the possibility of trisomy disorders (down syndrome, etc).


Anyway, it was a great excuse to get an early sonogram and marvel at the little vertebra, opposable thumbs, and alien-like head structure. We also got to check out Jordanna's ovaries which, in my professional medical opinion, looked up to the task of producing quality children.

After we left the Perinatal wing we headed over to the Emergency room, for the second time in two days, to try and find a cure for Tyson's random allergic reaction to ??????. I woke up this morning with a swollen face and arms so we figured if I hadn't died by the time the sonogram was over we could head over to the Triage nurse and get some antihistamines. Mission accomplished and I spent the rest of the afternoon curled up on our couch sleeping off the Benedryl shot.

In other exciting news we finished painting the main room and our new fridge was delivered today.

Friday, October 06, 2006

You know you need a new translator when...

[jordanna]

... your product description contains the phrase "With stylish design to make the unit more larruping."

Larruping: verb 1. to flog soundly, 2. to defeat decisively

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Hippy parents? What hippy parents?

[jordanna]

I had a productive morning at work and found what may be the coolest product for babies EVER:

http://www.gdiapers.com/gdiapers101

Just think, you can have a baby AND a house that doesn't smell like poo.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

We have a heartbeat!

[jordanna]

We went in for our 12 week checkup yesterday, and doctor #2 found the heartbeat of The Sorlet. Doctor #1 is our doctor, and she is fantastic. She is, however, a resident and had a hard time locating the little ticker. Of course, doctor #2 had no cumpunctions about bouncing the little dopple probe off my spine (from the front of my belly), which may explain his greater success. Apparently the little bugger was hiding (a good sign, I'm sure). The fast little whoosh-whoosh is a sure signthat this pregnancy is not a figment of my imagination! Thank god, because I have already gained 5 pounds. Given how much I have been eating, I thought that was a little low.