Representing the 822

[ty]

So much has happened since I last talked to you Internets. My hamster, "Basket Face", got eaten by the neighbor's dog, I fell down on my head, and Old Man Jenkins gave me a gently used pair of briefs. What a December its been.

In all seriousness there has been lots of action here at the Sprayberry household. Foremost among those thing in need of reporting is that Cayden met Santa for the first time. It was at a Muhlenberg work party where all the kids of all the staff and faculty of the college got to sit on Santa's lap. I happen to be standing directly at the foot of the stairs leading up to Him when they made the announcement that it was time to bring all the kids up starting with 2 and under. So I jumped into line and Nubby was the second kid on his lap. Which startled the hell out my son.



As many of you know Jordanna has been knitting since our move to Tucson and it has become something of a religion with her. She always takes my advice when it comes to her creations and last night she made me very very proud. Those of you who have played the video game Silent Hill might recognize this creature...




And as our final bit of exciting news...we bought a house! Well, technically the bank will buy it next Monday and give us the keys to it to taunt us. But you get the idea. At any rate, its a great little brick guy from 1951. We bought it from the original owner who purchased it for a whopping $12,000 when it was out in the boonies of Allentown.

My favorite two things about it are that there's already a finished basement that will be our theater/bar and under all the wall-to-wall carpeting are the original oak hardwoods.

It's a 4 bedroom 2 bath with a very dated kitchen that we will tear out and redo this summer. 822 is its number and we think it's awesome.

Mmmmm, post-war brick.

Note the sweet grass carpeting.

The place where our dog will poo.

Our sexy new retractable awning.

The view from our front porch. That's Cayden's school in the distance. :)

For those of you so inclined, there are pictures of the interior here.

Already Onto Daddy's Tricks.

The other day Tyson was getting Cayden out of his chair for his coveted evening Kermit-time:
C: "Waaah kermi? Waaaah kermi?"
Ty: "Say, Daddy's the best! Then we'll go watch Kermit"
C: grins
Ty: "Cayden. say Daddy's the best!"
C: grins and laughs
Ty: "Cayden, say DaDa's the best!"
C: laughing "No"

Who could love such a fickle fickle baby?

Periodically we get a glimpse into the misery that is the lives of people whose children don't sleep. We were awakened at 4 am by Cayden crying for, "Mama, mama, mama, MAMA". I went in after twenty minutes because about once every other month he needs a pat in the middle of the night. One the two or three occasions this has happened, I have snuggled him, then put him into the crib, rubbed his back and left. Sometimes he cries for another ten minutes, but he always goes back down. Last night however, I go pick him up and he says, "Sack off? Down? Down?" (he wears a wool sleep sack at night). He was way too squirmy to snuggle, so I put him back into the crib. The second he realized what I was doing he screamed, "No! Dada! DAAAA DAAAAA!". In a way my mission was a success because for the next hour he yelled for Tyson instead of me, which means I got to put my headphones in and ignore him.

Bath Time

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We're visiting Jordanna's parents this weekend and they have a BIG tub. So obviously we had to put the boy in the big tub last night for bath time. The problem, however, was that the tub was so big and slippery that he couldn't be in the tub alone so Daddy had to take one for the team (I don't like baths) and spot the kid in person.

Father and son in the bath

A sad sad child

Pop-pop and his youngest grandchild

Tim's phenomenal speakers, absolutely stunning

Kermit Bowls a Touchdown

[ty]

Have you ever loved something so much that you looked forward to the day when you could share it with your progeny and see their little face light up in wonder and delight? Such was the case with The Muppet Show. JD and I have carefully avoided letting Cayden watch any TV till now under the theory that he'll get no shortage of exposure to it as he grows up. Last week we finally decided that it would be OK for him to watch an episode of Muppets in the hope that he would start to develop an affection for them. Fools that we were.

For 12 days straight now we have not heard a single sentence that did not include a plea for "Whah Kehmeh?" Watch Kermit. That's all he wants to do. Watch Kermit. He wanders through the house with the case naming Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, and...of course...Kermit. He doesn't want to eat, he wants to Watch Kermit. It's not night-night time, it's time to Watch Kermit. He gets his beach chair that Nana and Vavo got him, puts it in front of the TV and yells "DaDa!! Whah Kehmeh!?!?!"

In an attempt to maintain our sanity we dug him up a Kermit doll to tide him over and rationed him to 1 episode after dinner before evening running around in circles time.


In other news Gaspar and I went to a NE Patriots home game at Gillette stadium last weekend. My friend Cowdog has season tickets and he was kind enough to part with two of them for us. We ate Brats, drank beer, had an absolutely spectacular time, the Pats won, and my wife picked us up and drove my ass all the way home to Pennsylvania. What's better than that? Not much.

On the awesome train that brought us there and back from Prov.

I kept texting them about the guy next to me planning his stalking of the cheerleaders but they didn't seem to care.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just build a giant slide?

And in other other news I took my kids outside in the cold-ass Pennsylvania autumn (it's 28 degrees right now, in november) to play with a bowling ball and explore Conservation of Energy. Good times. Sorry it's only a picture of me but it's illegal for me to randomly post pictures of my kids on the internet.


Plus two bonus pictures of my kid because he's cute as hell.

Nubby and his Vavo

Thank god I joined that list serve...

[jd]

Today's email from baby center (who send 'age-appropriate' updates): "Teaching your toddler about private parts". I'd settle for Cayden not bucking and screaming while I try and clean poo from every crevice. I think we can leave adding 'foreskin' to his vocabulary for another day...

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

[ty]

Although Cayden was officially alive last Halloween we didn't dress him up or parade him around in a gratuitous attempt to garner praise for how cute he is. So to celebrate we made up for it this year by taking him on a trick-or-treat bonanza at the local dorm sponsored by a
local sorority. Aie mi dios, what a scene.

There were at least 75 kids all dressed up, some happy, some screamy, most dazed and sweaty in their polyester outfits. They paraded us through 3 dorms in groups of 8 where over-perfumed undergrads smiled and distributed candy to the thankless children.

At first Cayden wanted nothing to do with any of the madness and clung to his mother frantically. After a few minutes of watching the other children though he worked up the moxie to receive a twix bar from a very nice young lady and the game was on. Selfless father that I am I allowed him to pick whatever candy he wanted before stuffing it in the bag that I am working my way through as I write this.

In an attempt to teach our child manners we tried to make him say Thank You each time after receiving his sugared communion. Unfortunately our plan of teaching him sign language has backfired and all the students were baffled by his smiling gesture of self-strangulation.

At any rate, he seemed to have an enjoyable time and I now have enough candy to last me at least a few days.

His two latest obsessions are his bibs and the hat mommy made him.

The look of "OMG!! HE'S SO CUTE!!" is clearly visible here.

Our little predator.

I think I startled him.

Finally

This is the first time in four weeks I don't have to work on the weekend. I'm still be grading at naptime, but I don't have to. Consequently, we have home-made yogurt, bread, rice milk, and you get some pictures.

two babies, two balls

Missy snuggles Lily and Cayden

Kendra gave Cayden the Baby Beluga book. For this I shall devise a creative retribution, as I am required to sing this song at least 5x a day.

Cayden loves Mr. Cholcolate and BlaBla

Not back, despite popular demand

Sorry for the complete lack of photos and videos. I know that all our readership wants is MORE CHUBBY CHEEKS! Just in case you were wondering, his cheeks are still chubby and he is still adorable. Hopefully we will be able to get some better visual media up this weekend. Until then, here is a tidbit for you: My son knows approximately 13 words. One of them is coffee. As in, "Mommy will read you a book after she fixes her coffee" or " Mommy will make you eggs after she puts on the coffee".

Quote of the day

I was reading an article on harvesting methane from landfills when I came across this:

"The landfill will break everything else down over time, except hot dogs -- they come up 10 years later looking about the same. I don't eat hot dogs anymore."

Yum.

More Poop Horror Stories

I can't tell if our lives will be more or less interesting when Cayden potty trains. Anyway, I am a big fan of naked baby time and was undressing Cayden the other day when Ty asked if he had pooped yet (our son is a solid once a day kind of guy). I said no, but don't worry about it, if he poops I'll clean it up. Given that I am the one that sprays the diapers into the toilet, I can honestly say poop on the floor is easier to clean. So baby is running around all cute and naked, and I am getting ready to go upstairs when Cayden comes running towards me with Tyson hot on his heels crying, "grab him! he just took a big poop on the kitchen floor and we need to clean him!". True to my word, I went into the kitchen to clean it up but there was no poop to be found! In the 30 seconds it took Ty to summon me, Roland came to my assistance. Moral of the story: don't let my dog give you kisses.

It was.... soap poisoning

During our evening toothy-brushing last night, Cayden grabbed the foaming hand soap dispenser and gave a few hard sucks. He put it down and started to half cry and make some really weird gulping noises, all while appearing very distressed. "Ty! I think the baby is going to throw up". Ty comes running in and says, "Why?". "He ate some soap and doesn't seem very happy about it". At this point we were conducting our conversation with each others' reflection in the mirror, and Cayden openes his mouth to cry/ protest, but all that comes out is a gigantic soap bubble. Our gales of laughter did nonthing to calm him down.

Distractingly Cute
[jd]

As Cayden and I walk to daycare every morning we are getting sidewalk friendly with some of the other regulars. One elderly gentleman has been known to take his morning constitutional around the same time, and has been trying to get Cayden to high-5 him. Yesterday we ran into him at the intersection of 22nd & Tilghman, the busiest we pass through to get to daycare. Cayden finally overcomes his shyness to high-5 this guy, and the gentleman is so happy that he wanders out into traffic against the light. I was busy running across with the light (not that we were late AGAIN), but I didn't hear any squealing tires so I assume there were no casualties.

Silence equals Madness

[jd]

It has been a hectic couple weeks, hence the silence. I am wrapping up my third official week as "Professor Sprayberry", and am slowly adjusting. The first week was petrifying. I spent 20 hours writing my first lecture and promptly went through 50 slides in 40 minutes. The second lecture I added some material and went through 72 slides in 45 minutes. When I told my students that and said, "I assume that I am going too fast", they all nodded slowly in unison. With an expression on their faces akin to a deer in headlights. I told them to pause me, and since then things have been MUCH better. I have such a good class. They ask questions, get involved, and seem to genuinely want to understand the material. This is a blessing, because I can spend all my energy organizing lectures instead of reading up on fancy active learning techniques to get students to participate. Next semester I may need those, since I will be teaching a massive intro biology course, but for now I've got it easy.

Ty is also getting into the groove of his new school, and as always is collecting great stories that I will let him share. He has had 3 full months of no students and was getting really anxious and excited to get back in the classroom. Of course after three days of classes a tornado hit the school and they didn't have school for most of this week (no I'm not kidding).

And finally an update on who you all read this blog for. Roland is doing really well, his fur is growing back in and his arthritis flare up from the drive out here has faded. He loves going for walks again now that it is less than 100 degrees. He does, however, smell REALLY BAD. If anyone is in the area and wants to donate some dog-washing services we will take them. I am too exhausted at the end of the day to wrestle a 110 lb dog into a bath tub.

The Game Preserve

[ty]

To celebrate our Labor Day holiday Nubby and I (mommy is working today) went to the Lehigh Valley Zoo this morning. It was not what I expected.

I'm a bit more used to the urban style zoos of Providence, Seattle and Tucson and this place was certainly not one of those. I suppose I should have been clued in by the fact that it was 2 miles into the woods on Game Preserve road. At any rate, it was a very farm-like zoo with a petting coral, pony rides, and feed the goats food dispensers. But thats not all. They had kangaroos in an enclosure that you could wander right into (only a single rope separated you and the roos), a Lorikeet enclosure where the birds landed on you and you could feed them, some invisible arctic wolves, and a whole bunch of birds-of-prey. Nubby was most fascinated by the Lorikeets (a very brightly colored, friendly and noisy cousin of the Parakeet) but he got pretty tense when I tried to put one on him. All told we had a really good time and I saw a small herd of Bison on the way out which always makes me happy.

Cayden in the Wolf's Den. There weren't any wolves around
so I figured it would be fine.

That rope is all that separates you and a potentially lethal Kangaroo.
I kept one hand on my knife the whole time.

We found a stream on the way out.

My kid trying to eat a rock. Again.

I think I'm going to frame this one and put it on my desk at work.

Permoplast (clean, odorless, non-toxic, sanitary)

[ty]

With the start of the year looming I've been cleaning out my new office and getting stuff ready for the excitement that is The First Day of School. My new school is in a state of flux as we tear the place down and begin a major remodel throughout the next two years. The current building was built in 1959 and cleaning out my area has resulted in some interesting finds. Not the least of which was a completely intact box of Permoplast modeling clay from...1965? According to claims on the packaging it's non-hardening and sealed in a factory. I'm not really sure whether I should place it behind glass for future generations to admire or feed it to the freshmen when they get restless.

Here's a beautiful shot of my brandy-new (for me) office.

Some of the shelves are labeled. From a very long time ago. On Abby's birthday.

In other exciting news we had a visitor last night. A bat somehow got into the house. It flew in circles in The Flower Room with Toku swatting his one good leg at it and Roland whining and crying until I managed to get a laundry basket in its flight path. Despite the madness it seemed fine and we released it into the greater Allentown metropolitan area safely.

Yum

I am enjoying an incredibly tast Friday afternoon cup of coffee, a luxury for me as I don't usually drink coffee this late. Read all about it on the hippy blog.

Overcoming Fears

After dinner the other night, I noticed that Cayden's diaper reeked of pee, so I decided to give him some naked time. The best thing for an ailing diapered butt is some time out of the diaper. So he trundles off while Ty and I are finishing up dinner. Less than 2 minutes later he come walking back through the kitchen making a, "dshuu?" inquisitive sound, while holding out this unidentified object in his hand. He was clearly trying to communicate, "Hey Mommy, check this out. What the hell is it?". I held out my hand, took the object in question and said, "Well son, you pooped", at which point he burst into tears. I am sure his terror of his own poop will make potty training much easier.

The Keymaster

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I'm not sure when he made the connection, but Nubby has realized the relationship between keys and locks. Combine this with our perpetually locked basement door in the kitchen that is often opened but never left open and you have an 18 month old boy who spends 20 minutes a day working on his lock-picking skills. His tenacity is impressive as the below video will attest to. If you listen carefully you can hear him say three things. The first is unintelligible, the second is a garbled "help please", and I think the third is "okay".

Notice also the impressive crescent shaped bruise on his cheek from slamming his face into a hanging ladle.

Whistle Pig

[ty]

I finally got a picture of the gigantic rodent that spends his days eating fallen apples beneath the tree across the street. There has been some debate in our home lately as to exactly what type of creature this rodent is. At first we thought it was a beaver, but some aggressive photography revealed that his tail is nothing like a beaver's. So with the identifying picture and a list of the mammals of Pennsylvania we positively identified the animal in question as a groundhog. A really big groundhog.


Turns out that given ideal conditions a groundhog can attain 32 inches in length, weighing in at 30 lbs. Who knew? Apparently they also will whistle when danger approaches earning them the nickname "Whistle Pig" in some regions.

To commemorate our identification of the animal we named our first batch of beer brewed in PA the Whistle Pig. Its a Kolsch style beer and it should be ready by the end of September. If you're in the area feel free to drop by and give it a taste.